DONT TAKE YOURSELF SO G-DAMN SERIOUSLY
Tuesday, June 26th, 2007
I just finsihed reading this book "The Art of Possibility" by Ben Zander and is immediately inspired. For the last few months, I have been physcially, emotionally and spirtually weakened, lost in a sea of neverending tasks. I saw myself far from being a cool headed character that I want to be. Instead, I have become more a typical Singaporean "complaint king". Anyway, I find comfort in Zander’s "The Art of Possibility" which offers much wisdom and new perspectives. A must read, and here’s an extract just to share.
"Lighten up" Says Zander, "and you lighten up those around you" This is not to suggest that you shouldn’t take your work seriously (you should), or even that you shouldnt take yourself seriously (that may depend on time and place), but for absolute certainty we must all get over ourselves. There is perhaps no better way to "get over ourselves" than the use of humour. From birth we are concerned about measurement and worried about perceived scarcity of love, attention, food, etc. that seems to be the way of the world. Zander calls this "calculating self," and in this environment of scarcity, competition, and comparision "the self needs to be taken very seriously indeed." No matter how successful and confident we may become as adults, our "calculating self" (concerned with measurement and worried about scarcity) is weak and see itself at risk of losing everything. No wonder the calculating self is concerned with "looking out for number one" and takes itself so g-damn seriously.
The goal, then, is to move away from the calculating self, the self that lives in a world of scarcity, exaggerated threats and deficiencies, and move toward a healthier attitude of sufficiency, wholeness, and possibilities. Getting over ourselves — and humour is a great vehicle for this–allows us to see the "creative nature of the world and ourselves." When we understand what an infant can’t — that we can not control the world, that we can not impose our will on people’s hearts–we begin to get over ourselves. When we learn to lighten up we see ourselves as permeable not vulnerable, says Zander, and we stay open to the unknown and to new influences , new ideas. Rather than trying to resist and fight the river of life we move with a harmonious fluidity and grace, learning to join rather than resist the flow. Humour is a wonderful way to remind everyone around us — no matter how hard the work gets — that our true self is not obsessed with childish demands, entitlements, and calculations but is instead supportive, confident, helpful, and even inspiring.
